Best Places to Breakup in Disneyland

Hello, beautiful people. It’s the holiday season! It’s the season of giving. It’s the season of love. It might be the season of breaking up. Sorry? Or congratulations? Maybe sorry now and congratulations in a few months.

Anyway.

Disneyland might be one of the better places to break it off for several reasons. First, it’s surrounded by people, so it’s harder to make a scene. Second,  since there are tons of aforementioned people, it’s easy to make a quick escape and get lost in a crowd. Third, if you’re feeling bummed, you’re surrounded by Disneyland cheer and churros and that helps with everything.

Edelweiss Snacks

First up. Have you ever noticed Edelweiss Snacks across from the Matterhorn? Kind of? Perfect. Tucked behind Edelweiss Snacks is a long dock that stretches out to where the Gummy Bears boats used to be. It’s rare to see lots of people there, but there’s generally enough so you’re not isolated. All of which makes it a perfect place to break it off, then sneak off to Small World while your ex maybe cries for a while. Let the sound of singing animatronic dolls drown out your guilt.

Toontown Railroad

The Toontown Railroad Station is bedecked with hilarious cartoonish props that suck you into a happy world where nothing could possibly go wrong save for hijinks of the sweetest variety.

Which makes the little private stretch of space behind it a great place to break up. I recommend position your soon-to-be-no-longer-other-half so they’re looking at the jolly and colorful oversized decor to kind of take their mind off the blow they’re about to receive.

It’s a super private area, a perfect place for them to deal with a crushing loss while you hop on the train and later days.

Behind the Galactic Grill

Tucked to the side of Galactic Grill, almost to Pixie Hollow, are a set of tables and chairs that are just out the way enough to have a private conversation, and just close enough to the crowd where no one can make a scene. Grab a Darth By Chocolate, stuff your face, give the speech, and dip into Nemo to get a solid 15 minutes of crying in the dark then pick yourself up and have a good time.

Tom Sawyer Island (Or Pirates Cove or whatever)

Think of all the nooks and crannies you can run off to when the dreaded deed is done.

Disneyland Railroad

Because how dope would it be to break up by the Dinosaurs.

Old Ice Cream Window on Main Street

Mid way down Main Street, right next to the lockers, by where the old ice cream window used to be, lives a little secluded cove where you can pop right in for a quick breakup then dip into the store and retail therapy yourself happy again.

 

4 Secrets to Staying at the Park from Open to Close

If you want to get the most bang for your buck when it comes to that Disneyland ticket, you’re going to want to stay at the park for the entire operating day. Yes, that means arriving by around 8am and leaving at midnight, usually walking a good 10+ miles in the hot Anaheim sun, which makes for an extremely long day.

Luckily, we’ve got the secrets to keep you going all day and night!

1. CARBS AND SUGAR

Repeat after me: Carbs and Sugar. Carbs and Sugar. Carbs. And. Sugar.

You’re not in Disneyland to be on a diet. You’re in Disneyland to Eat All The Food, and to avoid that impending sugar crash by eating more sugar just in time! That means constant snacking all day long. Feeling a little sleepy? Time for a diet coke. Eyelids getting droopy? Grab a dole whip, stat. Mickey pretzels. Ice cream. Booze. Any and all carbs and sugar.

We try to avoid eating full meals (except for breakfast, which is really just carbs and sugar anyway) at Disneyland for this reason. The fewer full meals you have, the more room you have for snacking!

2. TAKE BREAKS

When you just can’t take it much longer and all carbs and sugar have failed you, it might be time to take a break. Luckily, Disneyland is full of places to kick back and relax. Take in one of the many shows (usually with air conditioning), go on a particularly long dark ride (Pirates of the Caribbean is the perfect length for a power nap) or just find a spot to settle in with a drink or a dole whip. 

3. BOOZE

Once you’ve ridden a good few rides in the morning, the crowds always get a bit too heavy to wait in line for most rides. So, you’ve got a good fast pass or two, and now what?

Now, my friends, is the time to get a drink.

Plop yourself down at one of the many great places to get a good drink in the resort, kick up your feet, and chill out for a while. You’ll thank yourself for the break, and the crowds will be a lot easier to deal with once you have a drink or two under your belt.

4. DON'T TRY TO DO IT ALL

If you try to do everything in one day, you’re going to burn out hard and fast. Ride all the rides you can in the morning, then relax for a while. Standing in the sun for two hours to go on Splash Mountain at 1pm isn’t going to do you any favors when battling Disney Fatigue.

Relax. Enjoy yourself. You’re in Disneyland!