Hello, beautiful people. It’s the holiday season! It’s the season of giving. It’s the season of love. It might be the season of breaking up. Sorry? Or congratulations? Maybe sorry now and congratulations in a few months.
Disneyland might be one of the better places to break it off for several reasons. First, it’s surrounded by people, so it’s harder to make a scene. Second, since there are tons of aforementioned people, it’s easy to make a quick escape and get lost in a crowd. Third, if you’re feeling bummed, you’re surrounded by Disneyland cheer and churros and that helps with everything.
First up. Have you ever noticed Edelweiss Snacks across from the Matterhorn? Kind of? Perfect. Tucked behind Edelweiss Snacks is a long dock that stretches out to where the Gummy Bears boats used to be. It’s rare to see lots of people there, but there’s generally enough so you’re not isolated. All of which makes it a perfect place to break it off, then sneak off to Small World while your ex maybe cries for a while. Let the sound of singing animatronic dolls drown out your guilt.
The Toontown Railroad Station is bedecked with hilarious cartoonish props that suck you into a happy world where nothing could possibly go wrong save for hijinks of the sweetest variety.
Which makes the little private stretch of space behind it a great place to break up. I recommend position your soon-to-be-no-longer-other-half so they’re looking at the jolly and colorful oversized decor to kind of take their mind off the blow they’re about to receive.
It’s a super private area, a perfect place for them to deal with a crushing loss while you hop on the train and later days.
Behind the Galactic Grill
Tucked to the side of Galactic Grill, almost to Pixie Hollow, are a set of tables and chairs that are just out the way enough to have a private conversation, and just close enough to the crowd where no one can make a scene. Grab a Darth By Chocolate, stuff your face, give the speech, and dip into Nemo to get a solid 15 minutes of crying in the dark then pick yourself up and have a good time.
Tom Sawyer Island (Or Pirates Cove or whatever)
Think of all the nooks and crannies you can run off to when the dreaded deed is done.
Because how dope would it be to break up by the Dinosaurs.
Old Ice Cream Window on Main Street
Mid way down Main Street, right next to the lockers, by where the old ice cream window used to be, lives a little secluded cove where you can pop right in for a quick breakup then dip into the store and retail therapy yourself happy again.